Ups and Downs

Matthew 11:28-30
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

So I am in a sort of funk.

Have you ever had the experience of just wanting nothing, being reminded of everything and panicking over anything? So that may have been slightly confusing but like I said right now nothing seems right.

I am trapped in a valley.

Have you ever played the really old school version of Nintendo Disney style with Mickey and Donald Duck? I don't think there was very specific purposes to the game accept to avoid chomping things and jump up cliff sides. I remember being six and lacking the skill to ever get little Donald up, he just kept banging into the side of the cliff over and over.

I feel like that right now, lacking the skill of willpower to jump out of this valley. I was in the midst of spiritual euphoria this summer and am now so caught up in the craziness of school and commitments that I am just squatting at the base of the valley, wishing I could pause the game so I wouldn't lose points.

In John 5:6 Jesus asks a blind man "Do you want to be healed?" This is what we discussed this morning at church, do I want to get well? I talk about a Chaotic Surrender, but what the hell am I doing differently than before? Is this simply words or am I really desiring God's presence?

The purpose thus far has been to need no one but my Savior. To lean heavily on him. But the truth is we need people, God made it that way. In Mark chapter 2, a paralytic man is brought to Jesus and lowered through a roof by his friends just so he can experience Christ. Just like this man, I need those friendships in my life.

This is why we desire to date and have a genuine community of friends. So what do I really need to chaotically surrender to here? ----

Luke 10:41-42
This is the story of Martha and Mary. Martha works so hard to keep everyone happy and is working like crazy in the kitchen. Mary chooses to just sit at her Lord's feet and feast on his love and wisdom. Martha is indignant and self-righteously approaches Jesus asking him to tell Mary to quit being a thoughtless jerk and help out. The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."

Mary chose to quit fussing about making everything look good and just sat and rested before Christ.

So...I am learning throughout this CS to enjoy the relationships Boet (friend) has so haphazardly placed in my life while also plopping my failing self at Christ's never failing feet.